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My wife and I recently had an experience at an open house that left me questioning how some real estate agents approach their profession—and whether they’re truly serving their clients’ best interests.
We’re currently in the process of selling our two-bedroom, two-bathroom condominium. Like many growing families, our housing needs have changed. We have a son now, and we’d like a home with enough space for everyone. Ideally, we’re looking for at least three bedrooms: one for us, one for our son, and one for grandparents or in-laws when they come to visit.
We’ve been casually attending open houses to get a feel for the market and understand what our next home might look like. One recent visit stood out—not because of the property itself, but because of the listing agent hosting the open house.
The home was actually pretty close to what we were looking for. It was a three-bedroom, two-bathroom condo with a garage carport and a small backyard. It wasn’t perfect, but it checked a lot of boxes and seemed like the kind of property that would attract buyers looking to move up from a smaller condo or townhome.
Naturally, we started talking to the listing agent.
What happened next surprised me.
The Agent Who Didn’t Want To Sell The House
As buyers, one of the first things we expect from a listing agent is enthusiasm for the property they’re representing.
Not exaggerated salesmanship.
Not pressure.
Just a reasonable level of confidence and belief in the product they’re being paid to market.
Instead, this agent immediately began talking down the property.
He casually mentioned that homes like this don’t typically sell very quickly. They tend to sit on the market for a while, according to him. There wasn’t much effort to highlight the strengths of the home, explain why it might be a good fit for certain buyers, or provide any compelling reason to act.
I found it odd.
After all, isn’t the listing agent’s primary responsibility to help their client sell the home?
If I’m standing in an open house showing interest, why would the first thing you tell me be reasons the house may not sell?
The conversation quickly shifted away from the property entirely.
Instead of discussing the home we were standing in, he began talking about how he could help us find a home that better suited our needs.
Then came the classic pitch.
He told us about off-market properties. Homes that supposedly become available before they’re listed publicly. Exclusive opportunities. Hidden inventory. Better deals.
There was just one catch.
He would have to represent us.
Not the agent we were already planning to use.
The Moment My Interest Started Fading
At first, I was genuinely curious.
Every buyer wants access to more inventory, especially in competitive markets.
If someone tells you they have access to homes that haven’t hit the market yet, it’s natural to want to learn more.
But as our conversation continued, something felt off.
The focus wasn’t on understanding our goals.
The focus was on convincing us to change our goals.
That’s a big difference.
We explained exactly what we were looking for:
- At least three bedrooms
- Good public schools
- A family-friendly neighborhood
- A reasonable commute
- A community where we’d actually enjoy living
Simple enough.
Instead of helping us find options that matched those requirements, he repeatedly steered us toward areas we weren’t interested in.
His argument was predictable.
“You can get a single-family home there.”
Technically, he wasn’t wrong.
The homes were larger.
The prices were lower.
But there was a reason we weren’t considering those locations.
We didn’t like the neighborhoods.
We weren’t impressed by the schools.
The overall environment didn’t align with what we wanted for our family.
Yet every concern we raised was met with a counterargument.
Don’t like the schools? Put your son in private school.
Don’t like the neighborhood? The house is bigger.
Don’t like the location? The value is better.
At some point, it became clear he wasn’t listening.
He was selling.
And there’s a difference between helping clients achieve their goals and trying to convince them to adopt yours.
Bigger Isn’t Always Better
One thing I’ve learned during this home search is that many people, including some real estate professionals, assume buyers care only about square footage.
More bedrooms.
More bathrooms.
More land.
More house.
But families don’t buy homes based solely on dimensions.
We buy lifestyles.
The neighborhood matters.
The schools matter.
The commute matters.
The sense of safety matters.
The quality of life matters.
A larger house in a location you dislike can easily become a source of regret.
Would I rather have an extra 500 square feet or a community where my son can walk to a great public school?
For me, that’s an easy answer.
Everyone’s priorities are different, but a good agent should help clients clarify and pursue those priorities—not dismiss them.
A Question I Couldn’t Shake
As we left the open house, one question kept bouncing around in my head:
If this agent isn’t enthusiastic about selling the home he’s currently representing, how would he represent me?
Think about it.
His existing client hired him to market and sell that property.
The seller is paying him to attract buyers.
Yet he spent a significant portion of our conversation steering us away from the house and toward hiring him as our buyer’s agent.
Maybe he genuinely believed another property would be a better fit.
Maybe his intentions were good.
But perception matters.
From my perspective, it looked like he was more interested in generating a new client relationship than selling the home he was entrusted to market.
And if that’s how he approaches one client relationship, what happens when another opportunity comes along?
Would my interests suddenly become secondary too?
Trust is difficult to earn and easy to lose.
How Common Is This?
Unfortunately, I don’t think this experience is unique.
The barrier to entry in real estate is relatively low compared to many professions.
That doesn’t mean most agents are bad.
There are plenty of outstanding agents who work incredibly hard for their clients.
But there are also agents who prioritize transactions over relationships.
Some focus on commissions more than outcomes.
Others chase whichever deal appears easiest.
The reality is that consumers often assume all agents provide roughly the same level of service.
That’s a mistake.
The difference between a great agent and a mediocre one can be enormous.
A great agent listens.
A mediocre agent talks.
A great agent learns your goals.
A mediocre agent tries to replace them.
A great agent advocates for your interests.
A mediocre agent advocates for whatever generates the next commission check.
How to Spot a Bad Agent
While one interaction isn’t enough to fully judge someone’s abilities, there are often warning signs.
Here are a few that stood out to me.
They Don’t Listen
The biggest red flag is when an agent repeatedly ignores your stated priorities.
If you’ve clearly explained what matters to you and the agent keeps redirecting you toward something else, pay attention.
Good agents ask questions.
Bad agents assume they know better.
They Spend More Time Selling Themselves Than Helping You
An agent should certainly explain their value.
But if every conversation turns into a pitch about why you should hire them, that’s worth noting.
The best agents often let their knowledge, professionalism, and results speak for themselves.
They Dismiss Your Concerns
Every buyer has deal breakers.
Maybe it’s schools.
Maybe it’s commute times.
Maybe it’s neighborhood safety.
Maybe it’s HOA restrictions.
A good agent explores those concerns.
A bad agent minimizes them.
They Push Inventory Instead Of Solutions
Some agents fall in love with the inventory they have available.
Instead of finding the right home for the client, they try to find the right client for the homes they know about.
That’s backwards.
The client’s needs should come first.
They Create False Urgency
Be cautious when every property is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Pressure is often used to overcome objections rather than solve them.
A trustworthy agent educates.
A questionable agent manipulates.
What Good Agents Actually Do
I’ve worked with enough professionals over the years to recognize the difference.
Good agents act more like consultants than salespeople.
They ask thoughtful questions.
They challenge assumptions when appropriate.
They provide market insight.
They help clients make informed decisions.
Most importantly, they respect the client’s objectives.
Sometimes that means telling clients something they don’t want to hear.
But there’s a difference between providing honest advice and trying to redirect someone into a completely different path.
The best agents understand that buying a home isn’t just a financial decision.
It’s a life decision.
Final Thoughts
The experience left me with a renewed appreciation for the importance of choosing the right real estate agent.
Buying and selling a home is one of the largest financial transactions most people will ever make. The person representing you should be someone who understands your goals, respects your priorities, and advocates for your interests.
If an agent seems more focused on finding ways to benefit themselves than helping you achieve what you want, pay attention.
If they aren’t listening during the first conversation, they probably won’t listen during negotiations.
If they aren’t enthusiastic about serving their current client, it’s reasonable to wonder how committed they’ll be to serving you.
The right agent isn’t necessarily the one with the biggest marketing budget, the flashiest social media account, or the most aggressive sales pitch.
The right agent is the one who listens.
And based on my recent open house experience, that’s a quality that may be rarer than it should be.
